


The Haircut

by valda



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 19:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2877437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valda/pseuds/valda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos doesn't like getting his hair cut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Haircut

When I was getting ready for my day this morning, going through the standard morning ritual - showering, trimming my beard, brushing my teeth, checking for throat spiders - I realized it was time yet again for a haircut. I dislike getting haircuts, generally, because they destroy my routine. At least morning prep takes a known quantity of time each day. For a haircut, I have to take additional, unknown time out of my carefully planned day, and doing that sets my work behind schedule. But I had to admit this morning that my hair had gotten ridiculous, and so I resignedly headed off to the barber before going to the lab.

It took a long time for me to convince the barber, Telly, to do my hair the way I wanted it. When I explained how short it should be, he just stared at me for the longest time, mouth falling open, eyes going in and out of focus, tongue quivering every so often as if to begin to form words. A hitched croak issued from his throat. My instruments indicated that his pulse had gone up to 130 beats per minute, but his body temperature had cooled to barely above that of a corpse. This intrigued me so much that it was quite some time before I remembered what I had come to the barber _for_ and removed the various monitors from Telly’s body.

"I’m sorry," I said, "I’m a scientist."

He seemed to awaken from a death-like sleep, guiding me to the barber’s chair. I was a little nervous about the fact that his eyes still seemed to be out of focus, but he deftly draped a purple barber cape around me and began spritzing my hair with water.

"It gets really unwieldy when it’s this long," I said, because the silence felt like something beyond simply awkward. "The curls. So just cut it all off, nice and short. And then I won’t have to do this again for a long time."

I wondered belatedly if that last part was rude, but Telly said nothing, and simply started snipping away with scissors. I was facing away from the mirror, so I couldn’t quite tell, but it didn’t feel like he was cutting it short enough. Really, I thought, he should just use the clippers on my whole head.

When he finally turned me around to face the mirror, my hair was, well…not what I asked for. It was still long enough that the curl was evident, cascading down around my face in a rakish, messy sort of way that complemented the scruff of my beard. I sort of liked it, actually. I cocked my head to one side and considered. Would it be worth it to have to come back here in a scant few weeks in order to keep this look?

"You like?" Telly asked.

No. I sighed. “Yes, but I need it to be shorter.” Vanity is not a luxury I can afford. My time here is limited, after all. I won’t get to stay in Night Vale forever. I’d rather spend the time I do have here on science than on sitting in a barber’s chair. “Just take it all off. Short. Like…a centimeter.”

Telly looked devastated. I wondered if there had been some personal trauma in his life recently. “I don’t mean to be any trouble,” I said, trying to be understanding. People are just so difficult sometimes. Data sets are far more reasonable. “I just don’t want to deal with all this hair. I’m a scientist.”

Wordlessly, Telly turned his hollow eyes away from mine, gazing off into the distance as his thumb activated the clippers with a definitive click.

When I left, head and heart feeling much lighter, I could have sworn I saw Telly gathering up my shorn hair _in his hands_.

But there was no time to worry about that. It was time, finally, for _science_.

**Author's Note:**

> My first little WTNV fic. Doesn't really do anything groundbreaking, but it was fun. :)


End file.
